There are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be happy, and those who choose to be unhappy. Contrary to popular belief, happiness doesn’t come from fame, fortune, other people, or material possessions. Rather, it comes from within. The richest person in the world could be miserable while a homeless person could be right outside, smiling and content with their life. Happy people are happy because they make themselves happy. They maintain a positive outlook on life and remain at peace with themselves.
The question is: how do they do that?
It’s quite simple. Happy people have good habits that enhance their lives. They do things differently. Ask any happy person, and they will tell you that they …
1. Don’t hold grudges.
Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.
2. Treat everyone with kindness.
Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.
3. See problems as challenges.
The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.
4. Express gratitude for what they already have.
There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.
5. Dream big.
People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.
6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.
7. Speak well of others.
Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.
8. Never make excuses.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.
9. Get absorbed into the present.
Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.
10. Wake up at the same time every morning.
Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.
11. Avoid social comparison.
Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.
12. Choose friends wisely.
Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.
13. Never seek approval from others.
Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.
14. Take the time to listen.
Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.
15. Nurture social relationships.
A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.
16. Meditate.
Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.
17. Eat well.
Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.
18. Exercise.
Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your self-esteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.
19. Live minimally.
Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.
20. Tell the truth.
Lying stresses you out, corrodes your self-esteem, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it.
21. Establish personal control.
Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.
22. Accept what cannot be changed.
Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.
from: lifed.com
Friday, 24 July 2015
Monday, 20 July 2015
WHAT WOMEN WANT IN THEIR MEN
WHAT WOMEN WANT IN THEIR MEN:
1. "Clarity"
Women love clarity, a woman wants to know where she stands in a man's life. Some women are bold enough to ask "What are we? Are we friends, friends with benefits, dating, courting? Do you love me, do you like me? Who am I to you?" Whereas some women keep quiet in the grey area but are frustrated inside. So much power is vested on the man, he is the one who proposes hence many times the woman is guessing where are they heading? She is scared to ask and come off as pushy resulting to repelling the man, all she needs is clarity. Though sometimes before a man gives clarity he also needs clarity.
2. "Vision"
A woman loves a man with a vision, a man with something to live for. She wants to know what future is he working towards so that his vision can merge with her vision. A woman sure of herself wants a man with goals not a man who will take her nowhere.
3. "Confidence"
Confidence is not being cocky. It is looking at a woman without being intimidated by her, holding her waist like he is sure of himself, entering a room with presence, speaking with resolve and power, kissing without fear, standing up and not cowing down.
4. "Exclusivity"
A woman loves being treated good by the man in her life, but this treatment is only special when she is the only one receiving it: his flirting, his kisses, his quality time, his intimacy, his undivided focus.
5. "Conversation leadership"
A woman loves a man who takes charge of conversations, a man who will initiate topics, who will make effort to text and call. She wants to feel his active presence.
6. "Pursuit"
A woman loves to be treated like a Queen, a treasure. She will work on making herself beautiful and attractive so that he will notice and hunt her. Even when they are an official couple or married for years, she still wants to be pursued. She measures her attractiveness by how much he thirsts after her. Even in matters sex, his pursuit makes her feel more sexy.
7. "Inquisitiveness"
A woman loves it when the man asks her questions that show interest, there is so much a woman wishes to reveal about herself if the man just shows interest. Women are like novels, novels read when the right questions are asked. Her thoughts are a library, her heart a deep well longing to be discovered. One of the greatest question a woman can be asked is "How was your day?"
8. "Contained sexuality"
Women love a sexual man but not a man who is all about sex. A sexual man will talk about something serious and come off as sexy but a pervert will constantly push the sex agenda and be a turn off. A sexual man who is in control of his sexual urges and who engages those urges with no other woman is a major turn on. This man knows he is sexy but doesn't let it get to his head, he will look at the woman with sexual eyes or talk to her with his male voice and arouse her effortlessly.
9. "Defense"
Eventhough a woman can protect herself, she wants a man who will be her Commando, her one man army. A man who will defend her from herself when she is beating herself down, defend her from himself and the hurt he may cause and defend her from attacks of others. She wants a man who will not shy from speaking out when her name is tarnished, a man who will roar when other men try to come between them.
10. "Sensitivity"
A woman loves a man intouch with his feelings, one who will say it when he is in love with her, one who will tell her when he is not OK, one who will let her hold him when he breaks down, one who will say it when he is lost, angry, tired or happy. Men have emotions too. Be considerate of her feelings.
11. "Creativity"
Creativity shows a man is going out of his way to please the woman. She will love it when their dates look well thought out and planned, when he overwhelms her with his brilliance and decorates her life in original ways that make her moments spent with him memorable.
12. "Suspence"
In as much as women love clarity, they love when the man has an element of surprise, when he constantly seems one step ahead, crafting something to make her smile. Spontaneity thrills a relationship/ marriage. Man, don't be predictable, women love mystery but don't prolong it; keep her on the edge but not too long on the edge that she falls into boredom.
13. "Passion"
Romance makes the blood boil, a woman needs a kick in her heart. Women love to be desired, undressing eyes that look with want and hands that touch the right way and places. The words spoken to her should have warmth and the advances made to her should have fire.
14. "Attentiveness"
A woman loves talking, but as she talks she wants the man to listen and remember what she says, for him to look at her not the TV, newspaper or phone. The moment she notices his listening is only symbolic not actual, that he really doesn't care, she will become economical with her words believing she is a bother. No man serious about his lady will want to make her feel like a bother. Listen.
15. "Consistency"
So you are good to her, but your good should not be seasonal. Too many women get excited by the man only for him to disappear or grow cold then suddenly come up hot and exciting again when it's convenient or when he wants something from her. Inconsistency is confusing, consistency shows what you have for her is genuine and not a game
.
16. "Honesty"
A woman values honesty no matter how painful. Tell her if you are not ready to take the relationship to the next level, if you don't have money, if you are stuck, if you have done a mistake, if you had a child with another before her; be honest and she will find a way. She can handle the truth, secrets in the name of protecting her just shows you don't trust her or you don't find her mature enough.
17. "Manly authority"
A woman loves when the man gives an opinion. Eventhough it's her decision to make, she will share her situation to get his backing, blessing or input. She loves it when the man speaks to her life. She loves it when she is weak or sees herself as defeated and he inspires life back into her like a coach who sees her potential. But this manly authority shouldn't be misused. Never should he dictate, abuse or dominate her but always he must build her with his words.
18. "A dose of ego"
Ego in the right measure is a good thing. A man must have some pride, things that are beneath him which he cannot do. He shouldn't whine or be a cry baby. He should compliment her but not worship her or constantly glorify her as if her loving him is doing him a favor, as if she is a Queen loving a poor peasant. Some men worship women with boyish and over dramatized compliments which only make the woman feel uncomfortable. Act like a man who knows how great he is, a King who deserves his Queen. This "She's out of my league/ I feel unworthy" is for immature boys.
19. "Reliability"
A woman loves a man who says what he means and means what he says, a man who if he gives her his word she can take it to the bank, a man she can depend on and who does what he says he will do
.unknown
1. "Clarity"
Women love clarity, a woman wants to know where she stands in a man's life. Some women are bold enough to ask "What are we? Are we friends, friends with benefits, dating, courting? Do you love me, do you like me? Who am I to you?" Whereas some women keep quiet in the grey area but are frustrated inside. So much power is vested on the man, he is the one who proposes hence many times the woman is guessing where are they heading? She is scared to ask and come off as pushy resulting to repelling the man, all she needs is clarity. Though sometimes before a man gives clarity he also needs clarity.
2. "Vision"
A woman loves a man with a vision, a man with something to live for. She wants to know what future is he working towards so that his vision can merge with her vision. A woman sure of herself wants a man with goals not a man who will take her nowhere.
3. "Confidence"
Confidence is not being cocky. It is looking at a woman without being intimidated by her, holding her waist like he is sure of himself, entering a room with presence, speaking with resolve and power, kissing without fear, standing up and not cowing down.
4. "Exclusivity"
A woman loves being treated good by the man in her life, but this treatment is only special when she is the only one receiving it: his flirting, his kisses, his quality time, his intimacy, his undivided focus.
5. "Conversation leadership"
A woman loves a man who takes charge of conversations, a man who will initiate topics, who will make effort to text and call. She wants to feel his active presence.
6. "Pursuit"
A woman loves to be treated like a Queen, a treasure. She will work on making herself beautiful and attractive so that he will notice and hunt her. Even when they are an official couple or married for years, she still wants to be pursued. She measures her attractiveness by how much he thirsts after her. Even in matters sex, his pursuit makes her feel more sexy.
7. "Inquisitiveness"
A woman loves it when the man asks her questions that show interest, there is so much a woman wishes to reveal about herself if the man just shows interest. Women are like novels, novels read when the right questions are asked. Her thoughts are a library, her heart a deep well longing to be discovered. One of the greatest question a woman can be asked is "How was your day?"
8. "Contained sexuality"
Women love a sexual man but not a man who is all about sex. A sexual man will talk about something serious and come off as sexy but a pervert will constantly push the sex agenda and be a turn off. A sexual man who is in control of his sexual urges and who engages those urges with no other woman is a major turn on. This man knows he is sexy but doesn't let it get to his head, he will look at the woman with sexual eyes or talk to her with his male voice and arouse her effortlessly.
9. "Defense"
Eventhough a woman can protect herself, she wants a man who will be her Commando, her one man army. A man who will defend her from herself when she is beating herself down, defend her from himself and the hurt he may cause and defend her from attacks of others. She wants a man who will not shy from speaking out when her name is tarnished, a man who will roar when other men try to come between them.
10. "Sensitivity"
A woman loves a man intouch with his feelings, one who will say it when he is in love with her, one who will tell her when he is not OK, one who will let her hold him when he breaks down, one who will say it when he is lost, angry, tired or happy. Men have emotions too. Be considerate of her feelings.
11. "Creativity"
Creativity shows a man is going out of his way to please the woman. She will love it when their dates look well thought out and planned, when he overwhelms her with his brilliance and decorates her life in original ways that make her moments spent with him memorable.
12. "Suspence"
In as much as women love clarity, they love when the man has an element of surprise, when he constantly seems one step ahead, crafting something to make her smile. Spontaneity thrills a relationship/ marriage. Man, don't be predictable, women love mystery but don't prolong it; keep her on the edge but not too long on the edge that she falls into boredom.
13. "Passion"
Romance makes the blood boil, a woman needs a kick in her heart. Women love to be desired, undressing eyes that look with want and hands that touch the right way and places. The words spoken to her should have warmth and the advances made to her should have fire.
14. "Attentiveness"
A woman loves talking, but as she talks she wants the man to listen and remember what she says, for him to look at her not the TV, newspaper or phone. The moment she notices his listening is only symbolic not actual, that he really doesn't care, she will become economical with her words believing she is a bother. No man serious about his lady will want to make her feel like a bother. Listen.
15. "Consistency"
So you are good to her, but your good should not be seasonal. Too many women get excited by the man only for him to disappear or grow cold then suddenly come up hot and exciting again when it's convenient or when he wants something from her. Inconsistency is confusing, consistency shows what you have for her is genuine and not a game
.
16. "Honesty"
A woman values honesty no matter how painful. Tell her if you are not ready to take the relationship to the next level, if you don't have money, if you are stuck, if you have done a mistake, if you had a child with another before her; be honest and she will find a way. She can handle the truth, secrets in the name of protecting her just shows you don't trust her or you don't find her mature enough.
17. "Manly authority"
A woman loves when the man gives an opinion. Eventhough it's her decision to make, she will share her situation to get his backing, blessing or input. She loves it when the man speaks to her life. She loves it when she is weak or sees herself as defeated and he inspires life back into her like a coach who sees her potential. But this manly authority shouldn't be misused. Never should he dictate, abuse or dominate her but always he must build her with his words.
18. "A dose of ego"
Ego in the right measure is a good thing. A man must have some pride, things that are beneath him which he cannot do. He shouldn't whine or be a cry baby. He should compliment her but not worship her or constantly glorify her as if her loving him is doing him a favor, as if she is a Queen loving a poor peasant. Some men worship women with boyish and over dramatized compliments which only make the woman feel uncomfortable. Act like a man who knows how great he is, a King who deserves his Queen. This "She's out of my league/ I feel unworthy" is for immature boys.
19. "Reliability"
A woman loves a man who says what he means and means what he says, a man who if he gives her his word she can take it to the bank, a man she can depend on and who does what he says he will do
.unknown
Monday, 6 July 2015
Forgive Yourself
I read this piece and found it relevant for anyone who wants to begin life a new leaf,
You have to forgive yourself. God has forgiven you since the moment you asked. The reason why you keep hitting walls is because you haven’t forgiven yourself. You block your blessings because you’re not getting the lessons. You made mistakes and now it’s over but you keep living it over and over again in your mind.
You have to let it go. You have to know what you’re human and you can redeem yourself. Your thoughts control your life. If you don’t believe you deserve another chance to get it right, you won’t get.
It’s not that the opportunity isn’t there. It’s that you can’t see it because of what you’re telling yourself. You have to change your thoughts. You have to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You have to live again.
Free yourself from the captivity of guilt and shame. Let life happen. After every thing that happens, be wiling to put it behind you and move on.
The moment you forgive yourself, you begin to live again. Start living and stop lamenting.
Blessings,Tony Gaskins Jr.
You have to forgive yourself. God has forgiven you since the moment you asked. The reason why you keep hitting walls is because you haven’t forgiven yourself. You block your blessings because you’re not getting the lessons. You made mistakes and now it’s over but you keep living it over and over again in your mind.
You have to let it go. You have to know what you’re human and you can redeem yourself. Your thoughts control your life. If you don’t believe you deserve another chance to get it right, you won’t get.
It’s not that the opportunity isn’t there. It’s that you can’t see it because of what you’re telling yourself. You have to change your thoughts. You have to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You have to live again.
Free yourself from the captivity of guilt and shame. Let life happen. After every thing that happens, be wiling to put it behind you and move on.
The moment you forgive yourself, you begin to live again. Start living and stop lamenting.
Blessings,Tony Gaskins Jr.
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