2016 reviwed

2016 Reviewed

Its that time of the year again.....31st of December, time to reflect on the achievement and what we have not gained, as usual we always anticipate for more good things to come our way, before new year starts.

• career growth
• increase investments
• marry
• get a new car...etc

Time to take stock  and reflect more on where you need to change or improve on

i did not have an easy year, i have had broken relationship, betrayal, financial constraints, misunderstood here and there. as much as the year has come to an end its time to change old habits that can ruin future plans, i have to admit that i have repeated habits that don't grow me but drain me.

As the year went by i have met interesting people who have made me believe in my self more, people who are ready to help me become the better person, quality circle is what i can call. the people you hung around you matter a lot, Rotaract  is one place i chose to build me up socially and personal development. i tend to learn new ideas too, 2016 i made business contacts, i came out of my comfort zones, i have not made it yet to where i want but steadily am going there, i have had challenges but they perfect me to who i want to be.

i thank God for this far, gift of life and good health for the period of 2016 that is all i can ask for many years to come, i have not been to church for a long period of time but God has seen me through all the hurdles of life.

am looking forward for a better 2017... my simple resolutions

• Put God first, 
• read more
• do more exercise
• have meaningful relationships
• save more
• increase my circle
• growth in career and business too
• make time for my family,visit them more often,  i love them so much
• give more to the needy participate in charities

Thank you God for this far i ask you to guide me on the unforeseen journey in 2017, i have faith i will conquer all the tribulations and achieve my set goals.

In the New Year...

1.  Let go of cheating on your future with your past.  It's time to move on and tell a new story.

2.  Let go of feeling guilty for making yourself a priority.  
3.  Let go of all thoughts that don't make you feel empowered and strong.

4.  Let go of your fear of the unknown; take one small step and watch the path reveal itself.  And remember that you don’t need to know it all first.  We learn the way on the way.

5.  Let go of worrying; worrying is like praying for what you don't want.

6.  Let go of blaming anyone for anything; be accountable for your own life.  If you don't like something, you have two choices, accept it or change it.

7.  Let go of regrets; at one point in your life, that “whatever" was exactly what you wanted.

8.  Let go of anger toward ex lovers and ex friends.  We all deserve happiness and love; just because it is over doesn't mean the love was wrong.  It’s what you needed at the time to learn and grow.  

9.  Let go of trying to save or change people. Everyone has her own path, and the best thing you can do is work on yourself and set a great example.

10.  Let go of thinking you are damaged and flawed; you matter, and the world needs you just as you are.  You are not the shape of your body or the number on some scale.  Your uniqueness is what makes you outstanding.

11.  Let go of thinking everyone else is happier, more successful or better off than you.  Your journey is unfolding with the real and present opportunity to make the best of it.

12.  Let go of thinking you are not where you should be. You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go. 

Happy new year from me  to you . stay blessed

Overcoming Odds

 

image source google

I have a friend  *Tom, i judged him wrongly from the first time i met him, always cheerful  aggressive  and had passion in his business a small cafe, looking  at him you cant tell he has had a rough patch in the past.....
well Tom lived a very affluent life before , managed to pay rent, bills  for his house apparently he had a wife and a child too from his marriage , had a nice car, he thrilled by then. Their joint business was booming too.

His wife had a secret boyfriend whom she cheated on him,  *Tom found out about  this affair  and confroted the guy, one thing led to another, the guy pulled out a knife to attack  *Tom, out of self defense, accidentally stubbed him, luckily the guy did not die, Police were called and *Tom was handcuffed taken to jail, that was the beginning of his downfall, he was later arraigned in court and was given  3 years sentence, the wife took over changed business ownership under her name and *Tom's life was ruined instantly.
as usual time flies *Tom served his sentence and that is when his faith in God grew strongly, his jail term ended  after the three years elapsed.
leaving jail is always a celebration to many, *Tom had no where to go to, other than church, and start his life a fresh,  he met this lady down to earth  single mother  and they dated  *Tom moved in her house  and together they started a small cafe , thanks to his passion  he has now relocated to a new location  and he has expanded his business, in the next three years  he will never be the same again. he is more determined and focused, he xid not mourn or let shis situations take control of him.

Karma sometimes carries her puppies too, his ex wife's business  has already collapsed due to some irregularities  she had done and things don't seem to work well on her side.
*Tom on the other hand is working hard to be successful and build his new family. Nothing will ever stop him.

*Tom a fictional name.

Know when to use what gear in an automatic car

So you did not want to struggle much learning to drive so you skipped the manual transmission and opted for an automatic car. Possibly, you have been cruising around but wondering why your colleagues say their car does 12km per litre of gas but you can only do 14km per litre and are always in the garage. Or you have just got your driving permit – hopefully after doing and passing the driver’s test – and are ready to jump into your first shiny new car.
Whatever the case, you are convinced that driving an automatic is a piece of cake and you are ready to go. You are wrong.

There is a right and wrong way to use an automatic transmission. So unless you have some shade tree mechanic working near your house, or you just have deep pockets to spend on fuel and garage, let’s cover the basics.
You should know that a vehicle with automatic transmission usually has three basic gear transmissions.
When you select Drive, the car will only shift through the first three gears. Overdrive introduces a fourth and fifth gear that allows your car to achieve better fuel economy at high speed.
However, if you have a button activated Overdrive mode, you can press it on and press it off while driving at constant speed to feel the effects. You’ll lose RPMs when engaging overdrive and get better fuel economy if and only if you do not strain the engine. The Overdrive gear is higher than a 1:1 ratio, so acceleration is an uphill battle with it engaged.
Your gear selector probably has P, R, N, D and/or (0) along with any combination of L, 1, 2, or 3.

• P: Is the position that is selected when the vehicle is parked.
• R: Reverse. Used when the driver wants to go backwards.
• N: Neutral. Only used when you need to roll the car from one place to another.
• D: Drive. The drive range is selected when you wish to drive the vehicle forward.
• L, 1, 2, and 3: These are modes that will lock your automatic transmission into using a particular gear. This is helpful when you do not want the transmission to shift in response to throttle position or load. It is useful if you need to pull someone out of a ditch or engage engine braking.

Not all roads are the same. Most automatic transmissions also allow you to manually select one or more lower gears, such as Low (L), 1st (1) and 2nd (2). In the case of L and 1, the transmission will stay in the lowest gear and not shift on its own. That allows maximum power when you need it, such as on a steep hill, but greatly limits your speed. Some automatic transmissions will shift out of 1st once you reach a certain speed, to prevent damage to the transmission or engine, or cut power to the engine. And with others, if you select 2, the transmission starts in 2nd gear and is locked in that gear. This is useful when starting out on slippery surfaces or for engine braking when descending a steep hill. So L, 1, 2 and 3 modes are very useful in specific conditions. On some of the muddiest roads, the 2 range helps to get you rolling over very slippery areas. Because you are selecting a higher gear, less spin (per engine rotation) is being imparted to the wheels, which helps prevent you from spinning your tires when you take off on slippery terrain.
For those of you who have never used a manual transmission, you may not be aware of a mechanism called engine braking. It has to do with shifting into a lower gear, which forces the engine into higher (but safe) Revolutions per Minute (RPMs). Your engine – with those four or more cylinders – takes a lot of energy to keep spinning if you are not on the throttle. So you can lose some kinetic energy of the car to the internal kinetic energy of the engine. In order to do this safely, you must consult your owner’s manual about the safe ranges of speed in which you can engage a particular gear.
When you’re going up a mountain or hill, your engine is under significant engine strain. Especially if you go lumbering up the mountain in a low RPM, you can kill your transmission or engine from the strain it is suffering which may result in over-heating and oil starvation. This is where it’s a good idea to lock your gear selector into 2 or maybe 3, depending on conditions, and proceed up the hill in a timely fashion that keeps your engine RPM around 2,500 rev/min and up. And since what goes up must come down, you’ll be forced to descend the mountain.
Do not rely on your brakes to take you down the mountain. Your brakes are not designed to take the added weight and prolonged heat of a mountain descent. Just stay in the same gear you came up in and coast down the mountain. Your engine speed may be running higher now, but that is alright. Let those chunky internals suck up that potential because your brakes surely will not take it. You can ruin your brakes doing that – or your spinal cord, if the brakes fail.

Peoples Hidden Motives...signs of power

  I just realized and learned this lesson .You cannot speak on what you know. Especially to the person who you trying to elevate. I'm a work in progress. Once you understand this everything and anyone that you come across you have already won the battle.

When people think you aren't aware of what's going on they tend to relax their defenses and get comfortable. Make them think you don't care, but pay attention and plan accordingly. In addition to that, don't speak on what you know. Just use that knowledge to your advantage.
Pay attention to everything and everyone around you...all the time. People may not talk about what they are doing, but their motives can be seen in their actions...even the smallest detail can reveal a hidden agenda.
scarcity and absence many a times has honour attached,being too common and present in a place over time do bring about disrespect especially when the person has nothing good to offer again
Respect and Honor will show when your no longer available
 

Cold heart love

 

Some people cannot love you the way you want to be loved, because they are emotionally and spiritually frozen. They recoil from or avoid affection. You will never meet a deep penetrating gaze from their shallow eyes; only a surface glance. They will touch your hand with their hand, but never with their heart. They will serve your body but not your soul. They can only connect with you through utility, but never passion. They are empty. They are dead inside. They will break your heart if you let them. You will waste your whole life waiting for them to wake-up to the treasure of what you have to offer.

Practical Tips for Productive Living

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
―Ann Landers

You are changing.  The universe around you is changing.  Just because something was right for you in the past doesn’t mean it still is.  This could be a relationship, a job, a home, a habit, etc.
It happens to you slowly as you grow.  You discover more about who you are and what you want out of life, and then you realize there are deliberate changes you need to make to keep up with the changes happening around you and within you.
The lifestyle you’ve been living no longer fits.  The specific people and routines you’ve known forever no longer align with your values.  So you cherish all the memories, but find yourself letting go and moving on.
If you’re currently dealing with this process you may feel a bit awkward, and that’s OK.  This feeling is normal.  I’ve been right there with you on more occasions than I can count.

Reasons to Let Go and Move On

1. Someone’s negativity is rubbing off on you. – You are the average of the people you spend the most time with.  In other words, who you spend your time with has a great impact on the person you are and the person you become.  If you are around cynical and negative people all the time, you will become cynical and negative.
2. You have grown apart from someone. – Sad but true, no matter what you do or how much you explain yourself, some people will gradually evolve away from your core values.  As time goes on they will prove over and over again that they are committed to misunderstanding you and clashing with your needs.
3. You are truly unhappy with your current circumstances. – It’s always better to be struggling at something you love than succeeding diligently at something you despise.  (Read Quitter.)
4. Your goals and needs have changed. – What was right for you then is not necessarily right for you now.  Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather realizing that you have changed, and then learning to start over with your new truth.
5. Fear is holding you back. – Part of letting go and moving on is facing the fears and disappointments of the past that are binding your spirit.
6. You catch yourself living in the past. – If all you do is attempt to relive something that has already happened, you’re missing out.  The mental space you create by letting go of things that are already behind you gives you the ability to fill the space with something fresh and fun.
7. An old grudge is still hurting you. – Holding on to the weight of anger, resentment and hatred will not only hold you back, but also block your present blessings and opportunities.  You’ve just got to drop some things to move forward.
8. You aren’t learning anything new. – Living is learning.  All positive change is the end result of learning.  If you aren’t learning, you’re simply dying slowly.

One Small Example of Letting Go

We had been friends since grade school when I finally told one of my childhood friends, “Enough is enough!”  Although we had basically grown up together, we were now on different planets when it came to our goals and dreams.  He believed there was one right way to do things – go to college, get a degree, get a job, and dedicate every waking moment of your life to it.  I had other plans.
Although I did get my degree and a job after college, in our free time Angel and I started writing articles on the blog you’re reading now.  As the blog’s reach grew, my friend discredited our success.  Whenever I shared one of our small success stories, he would say something negative like, “Whatever.  It’s just a blog.  I have one too.”
When Angel quit her job to work on the blog full-time, my friend basically told me we’d fail.  “That’s ridiculous!  Angel had a good job,” he said.  “You’re just playing with fire in this economy if you ask me.”  To which I replied, “I’m not asking you.”
That was the beginning of the end of our story as friends.  Years later, our relationship is now a mere shadow of what it was and my life is honestly far brighter for it.  Letting my friend go wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for my own well-being and growth.

Ways to Let Go and Move On

Holding on is like believing that there’s only a past; letting go and moving on is knowing in your heart that there’s a bright future ahead.  Let’s take a look at eight ways to design the latter.

1. Accept the truth and be thankful. – To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and helped you learn and grow.  It’s the acceptance of everything you have, everything you once had, and the possibilities that lie ahead.  It’s all about finding the strength to embrace life’s changes, to trust your intuition, to learn as you go, to realize that every experience has value, and to continue taking positive steps forward.  (This process is something Angel and I discuss in the Adversity chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
2. Distance yourself for a while. – Sometimes you need to take several steps back in order to gain clarity on a situation.  The best way to do this is to simply take a break and explore something else for a while.  Why?  So you can return to where you started and see things with a new set of eyes.  And the people there may see you differently too.  Returning where you started is entirely different than never leaving.
3. Focus only on what can be changed. – Realize that not everything in life is meant to be modified or perfectly understood.  Live, let go, learn what you can and don’t waste energy worrying about the things you can’t change.  Focus exclusively on what you can change, and if you can’t change something you don’t like, change the way you think about it.  Review your options and then re-frame what you don’t like into a starting point for achieving something better.
4. Claim ownership and full control of your life. – No one else is responsible for you.  You are in full control of your life so long as you claim it and own it.  Through the grapevine, you may have learned that you should blame your parents, your teachers, your mentors, the education system, the government, etc., but never to blame yourself.  Right?  It’s never, ever your fault… WRONG!  It’s always your fault, because if you want to change, if you want to let go and move on with your life, you’re the only person who can make it happen.
5. Focus inward. – It’s important to make a difference in the world.  Yes, it’s important to help people, but you have to start with yourself.  If you’re looking outside yourself to find where you fit in or how you can create an impact, stop and look inside yourself instead.  Review who you already are, the lifestyle you’re currently living, and what makes you feel alive.  Then nurture these things and make positive adjustments until your current life can no longer contain them, forcing you to grow and move beyond your current circumstances.
6. Change the people around you. – Some people come into your life just to strengthen you, so you can move on without them.  They are supposed to be part of your memory, not your destiny.  The bottom line is that when you have to start compromising your happiness and your potential for the people around you, it’s time to change the people around you.  It’s time to join local meet-ups, attend conferences, network online, and find a more supportive tribe.
7. Take a chance. – When life sets you up with a challenge, there’s a reason for it; it’s meant to test your courage and willingness to make a change and take a chance on something new.  There’s no point in denying that things are different now, or being fearful of the next step.  The challenge will not wait even if you hesitate.  Life only moves in one direction – forward.  This challenge is your chance to let go of the old and make way for the new.  Your destiny awaits your decision.  (Read The Untethered Soul.)
8. Focus on today. – You can decide right now that negative experiences from your past will not predict your future.  Figure out what the next positive step is, no matter how small or difficult, and take it.  Ultimately, the only thing you can ever really do is to keep moving forward.  Take that leap without hesitation, without looking back.  Simply forget the past, look straight ahead and forge toward the future.

10 THINGS I’VE LEARNT BEFORE FALLING IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME

not ny thoughts but insightful and helpful 

• 
  
• Falling in love is not easy. If you think is easy than you are not in love or you love the wrong person. Falling in love means tears, a broken heart, late night talks and a lot of memories. You can’t fall in love in 2 days, you need time.
• Be sure. Sometimes, you need so much affection  you think you are falling in love and when you think that you make all the possible procedures just to be in love and get love. That is not okay. Your  heart do whatever it wants to do, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it. It doesn’t accept enjoins but you can also try. You can make it not to catch of everything little thread of affection and sympathy. You can be wrong for so many times, and for so many moments. It takes just a  wrong step to wake up from your dream.
• You don’t have to fall in love with every lover you have.Falling in love with all your heart is special, is important, is something a lot of girls dream about and also, is so difficult to get love from a lover. We, girls, give love in so many ways, to so many boys, and is so cruel.  That means lots of pain  and tears, but that is the way we make our heart stronger. Some boys will make you feel special, other will make you feel smart or beautiful. But, my dear, find that one who makes you feel the one and only and never let him go. Don’t run for boys or for love, love will find you and when this will happen, keep it close. Find that one that it would live for you, and also, die for you. Find that one who smiles when sees you, but not for the body, just for the soul and the mind, find the one who would you be naked just because he loves you, not reverse.
  
  

  Collage art by Jeff Taylor, available for purchase here
• Never give your heart easy. And not to persons who are not capable to keep it alive, give it to people who have no doubt to give  you their souls, . Who show you that you are special, that you are the moon, the stars , the sun and all above. Show them how important can you be and what you can do. Let them die for you and for your heart. But don’t give your heart until you are 100% sure  that is the person that will care about it. Give it to the person who touchs your soul more than your body, who explore your mind more that your neck, to the person who was tenderness in every atom.
• True love is rare. If you find it , keep it close. Fight for what you love, prove them that you get what you want even you are not sure about it or if it’s just a phase. But, my dear, love is not a phase. Love is forever, no matter what. It may be hard and obstacles will appear all the time,but if it’s love it will resist. From  now to a thousand years, from now to the highway to stars, it will resist if it’s miles away.  True love is for life.
• Don’t break other hearts just because your heart is broken.You are not like them, every heart break for so  many times, and every time is a different reason. Even your heart cries because he left, doesn’t means you have to break  hearts of people who really care about you, they don’t deserve, let the Universe do his job. You just have to forgive and forget. Revenge is a stupid things, it’s karma’s job. Never do to others what you wouldn’t have them do to you.
• You will lie yourself a lot. You will tell yourself about the boy with brown eyes who stole your phone number and make you feel like heaven. You will tell yourself how much you love him, even is the wrong person, and deep deep inside yourself you know that, but you do not stop because you like it. You like to be cheated, you like to feel hurt.  He will  believe you love him, your parents, his family, you friends…all. But, you know that is not true, and after the break up, you will know how to treat your heart and find true love. You will be hit by the most painful though: you loved the wrong person for so much time. You will try to recover yourself from the floor and go there to prove him what he lost. But nothing will be the same, your eyes will cry more, your mind will try to find another ways to be the best. Even after all, you will lie yourself that you loved him until you will believe it.Maybe, not from the first try but you will.
• Never leave your friends for a possible boyfriend. True friends are hard to find, and hard to keep. To have a true friend is one of the most beautiful things life gives you. He helps you all the time, make you laugh until your stomach hurts, give you advice and make you wish you were death when you screwed up. It is like a mirror of your soul, but  smarter and more beautiful. Never leave them, not for a boy. Boys make girls cry, and also, give them wonderful moments, but are temporary, sweetheart. What you have with a friend is unique and lasts. What you have with a lover or a boyfriend is also special but it does not lasts so much, is a magic that makes you feel peaceful and in love, but is more painful the end, a true friendship   has no end. You just have to find that really good friend, your soul mate. Don’t you ever left your good friends just because you think you are in love. Take a chance. Take a golden mean, love your friends and take care  about your boyfriend. And if they put you to choose between one and other, then is not a true friend and even the lover of your life. You are on the wrong way, go back and start again.
• Don’t use somebody. Don’t use somebody as a bandage. They don’t deserve cruelty. Maybe they are really in love with you, maybe they care about you like a brother or more, you will never know if you will use them. Don’t be a cold-hearted girl. If your heart is broken go on the road with happiness, with friends and laughs, don’t go for revenge. Never.  No one deserve to be used. If there’s a hole in your soul, don’t cover it, fill it.
• Make peace with yourself.Make peace with yourself and you will fall in love in the most beautiful way. You will fall in love with you. The first person you have to fall in love with is YOU. You have to love yourself, you are beautiful, you are intelligent, your laugh is contagious, your touch make other souls vibe, your smile is the most beautiful piece of art  which people  have ever seen. Give to your soul a pause, let it breathe like it never did, like is the first time it feels the air and also the kindness of the Earth. Let it be happy. Allow yourself to be happy. To be in love with yourself.

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Written by Dumitrita Gabriela

I’m just enjoying my life. I suggest you try it.

“I’m just enjoying my life. I suggest you try it.”

Enjoy your life. Do things that put a smile on your face. If you find yourself engaged in activities you hate for too many days, stop. You control your life. Remember this. You can shape your reality in whichever way you please.

Life is meant to be enjoyed. its not all about how much you are worth or what you own, whatever you have is the best for the moment, remember there is a rich man with everything but he is living on oxygen controlled by doctors, the kind of meals he eats are prescribed, that kind of life is tormenting...... but God has given you free life and creative mind.. use that what u have now and enjoy it

If you have a dull life, realize you are the one who settled for a dull life. An extraordinary life is right around the corner and if you want it, you can have it.

Regardless, you have to cherish the days you have on this beautiful planet.

So many of us don’t take advantage of our time until it’s too late. Don’t become another member of this group

Enjoy your evening folks ,cherish the moments

live your life no one will make you happy its your choice

Two common traits of successful people

Those who are successful have two things in common: Persistence and Determination.
Leonardo Di Caprio won a well-deserved Oscar today for his role in the Revenant. Despite him being nominated 6 times in the past and not winning, Leo stayed focused on his goal. It is in times when we do not get the results we want, that we need to stay committed. This is when determination and faith are even more important.
Staying focused on our goals will influence the way we think; we will think more positive, and we will stay determined. These kind of results impacts our attitude, and our attitude is the sum thoughts, behaviors and feelings we choose to carry with us every day. A positive attitude creates the right image that drives us into actioning and generating ideas, and keeps us moving into the right direction, which in the end gets us the results we want.
When we are committed to what we want to achieve, we do what it takes; we accept no excuses, only results. When we are just interested in something, we do what is convenient or easy and that is what makes the difference between failure and success.


http://www.ithaca-life.com/success-failure/